Something I've been asked by clients who are new to counselling is why other people have come to see me. Of course I'd never share the juicy details, but there are many broad patterns to the issues that people seek my help with!
Every person I see has their own unique story to tell, but much like the saying that there are only 7 different stories in fiction , generally everyone is seeking one of the following:
To understand themselves
To change something about themselves
To move on from something
Understanding themself
Variations on this classic include:
"I don't know why I keep doing/feeling [thing]"
"I keep finding myself [in certain situation] no matter what I do"
"I feel like something is wrong but I don't know what or why"
Changing something
Someone might identify thoughts feelings or behaviours that they feel are holding them back, or just that they want parts of their life to be different. Sometimes the route to changing these things is by exploring and understanding even more about yourself, other times people need techniques and support to reach the ideal they are aiming for.
This might sound like:
"I want to feel less anxious [in certain situation]"
"The way I interact with [person/food/drink] is negative for me"
"I want to change [job/relationship/where I live]"
Moving on
After a change or a loss we are often eager for the negative experience to be over. Sometimes people long to go back to their old self, other times people are keen to emerge like a butterfly and get on with their new chapter.
Talking through what we experienced (or exploring it in non-verbal creative ways) helps us to process the experience and our new reality. Counselling can help us engage with our present and accept our past. Sometimes by forgiving and letting go, other times by letting ourselves feel the uncomfortable emotions we have been avoiding.
They say time is a great healer, but that doesn't mean the healing process doesn't feel itchy sometimes! There is no need to weather these storms alone and having a neutral person to vent to might make the time feel less of a drag as you move towards acceptance.
Don't see your story in the above? That's okay too! This is a very simplified and generic list and you are a complex and unique individual! Also sometimes the reason we think we want counselling ends up not being exactly what we get out of the experience. Like unearthing something in archaeology, sometimes what you see poking above the surface is very misleading when trying to guess what is buried below.
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